Unacceptably long time not posting

It's been an unacceptably long time since my last post. So much has been going in my life... I've been busy almost every single weekend since the last time I updated.

More to come later, but here's a little snapshot of what I've been up to:

If it ain't bokeh, don't fix it

Stumbled across this website of bokeh photography this morning, and thought it was so beautiful I just had to share. I had no idea what "bokeh" even meant... basically, it refers to blurry but aesthetically pleasing photographs that often include points of light as part of the landscape.

Check out the site and let me know what you think!

Something I've been thinking about

I have a real problem with the fact that Ben Roethlisberger wasn’t charged with sexual assault in the case a college-aged woman in Georgia brought against the football superstar.

The attorneys for the woman said the intense media spotlight aimed at her during a high-profile criminal trial “would be a very intrusive experience” for her. It’s likely she’s right.

It’s an unfortunate situation, but not all that uncommon. It’s estimated that 60 percent of sexual crimes go unreported every year. SIXTY PERCENT.

Why?

Rape and sexual assault are intensely personal, private crimes. They are embarrassing. They are shameful. Throw in a little celebrity and a pack of rabid fans, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I'm just sickened and saddened by the whole thing.

Baggage

Baggage. We all have it. Some just have more of it than others…

Since college, nearly every serious boyfriend I’ve had has come with a cargo carrier of luggage, which ultimately has affected our relationship:

• A: Crack head absentee father, serial-bride mother, anger management issues;
• S: Abandonment issues, sexual abuse, multiple cheating ex-girlfriends, gnarly family tree;

And those are just the guys I’ve actually been in relationships with!

I thought my pattern of dating unavailable men was turning around when I started dating Ex-Boyfriend. Sure, he was resistant to change and unable to communicate. He'd previously been in a really toxic relationship, which I always felt kind of hardened him and made it hard for him to open up. But all in all, he was fairly normal.

On the outside, so it the guy I just met. We've only been on one date, but the connection is amazing... not unlike what I experienced with S at the beginning of our relationship.

He’s sweet. He’s funny. He’s smart. He's romantic. He's expressive. He’s a complete dork, trapped in a hunk’s body. We have amazing intellectual, emotional and physical chemistry.

So what's the baggage? He has a son with one woman, and a pending divorce with another.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never given a lot of thought to dating someone who already has children. I truly believe that your child is your child, regardless of whether s/he is genetically related to you. While the idea of dating a single parent is a little nerve-wracking, it’s not a barrier to a future relationship.

A wife is, though.

This new guy is separated from his wife, who is bi-polar. Her illness weighed heavily on their relationship, caused a lot of stress and a lot of anguish. They've only been separated for eight months, so it's not even final, yet, though he assured me that it’s over for him and the process is down to just technicalities. Never having been divorced myself, I am not sure how long the process takes... I think in Ohio, you have to be separated for a year before you can officially divorce.

He was honest enough to tell me this on our first date, giving me plenty of time to back up and run for the hills. He offered not to call me again until his divorce is final. I admire that he was so forthright; it speaks volumes of his character.

But it still freaks me the fuck out.

Just having that connection with someone so immediately is discombobulating enough –- I'm notoriously self-destructive when a relationship is "good" -- but throw in the rest and, well, you can see why I have such serious reservations. I’m left with more questions than answers. Do I just go with the flow and pursue things now? Wait until the ink has dried on the divorce decree before progressing with the relationship? Or is this just too much baggage to sign up for?

The advice of friends has trended in one direction, but I'm interested in hearing what you have to say? What do you think?

Try this on for size!

Instead of sending me a text message, pick up the phone and give me a call. Instead of suggesting we "hang out," take me on a date. And instead of ignoring me for two weeks because you're freaked out about intimacy and the idea that we might one day be in a relationship, get over yourself and man up.

That is all.

(Cross posted at Cingle in the City)

Brief update

Here's a little update about what I've been up to in the last few months:

July 2009 - Broke up with Boyfriend

August 2009 - Nothing of note

September 2009 - Got a promotion that has caused considerable joy but considerable stress

October 2009 - Realized I was moving on from the break up and had a complete freak out because letting go scared me. Drunk dialed Ex-Boyfriend and cried foolishly. (All of that is another story for another time...)

November 2009 - Kissed another boy

December 2009 - Realized I was no longer in love; subsequently kissed multiple other boys

January 2009 - Started dating again

February 2009 - Started blogging again

I think it's wise to post in more detail at another time, because I'm exhausted from the crazy pace I've been keeping the last few months. I have a bit of a new lease on life, and a new energy in my personal life that is exciting and fun.

I'm going to start checking in on all of you more regularly, so consider yourselves warned!

Blogging, schmogging

So obviously I haven't been keeping up with blogging since... well... since Ex-Boyfriend and I broke up. Even though I've healed from the break up, I haven't really found the motivation to blog about anything. However, I'm going to try to get back into it, as soon as I feel like I have something worthwhile to share/say.

And probably, no one is even out there reading me anymore! :)