Another Valentine's Day Tribute

Here it is, folks... a revised edition of the Valentine's Day post I did last year, with some tweaks and modifications for 2007. Whether you are single or attached, enjoy this day as a day to tell someone that you love them... and, drink lots of wine.

Valentine's Day. The day to show that "someone special" just how much you care. Valentine's Day. Otherwise known as: The day that single people everywhere surrender to being Alone.

Ah yes, the most loving of holidays. The proliferation of hearts, flowers, candlelight, jewelry, chocolate and sappy Hallmark cards. Innocent symbols of love? Or indications that the Apocolypse is upon us? Either way, on Valentine's Day, couples exchange these love symbols with fervor of epic proportions...thus reminding single people that they aren't just single anymore. They are Alone.

The historical roots of Valentine's Day and its patron Saint Valentine are wide and varied. Though its hard to say how accurate many of these tales are (I found at least three, just on the History Channel website), it is safe to say that Saint Valentine was a martyr. Like as in, murdered for whatever Christian cause he was supporting. Dead guy as the patron saint of the lover's holiday? Not very romantic.

Remember back in Kindergarten, when the valentine's exchanged were of the cherry lollipop and Care Bear variety? Ah, the innocence of childhood, so quickly forgotten.

By the time I'd reached high school, I'd succumbed to the over-commercialization of a holiday dedicated to showing the ones you love that you care. I bought into the credo that to show someone that you cared was to heap upon them lots of gifts, cards, candies and flowers. I quite literally bought into that, vis-a-vis the carnation sale where my friend Allison and I would "anonymously" send each other secret admirer carnations; after all, to not receive a secret admirer carnation was to experience a form of social leprosy that no highschool kid in their right mind wants to experience.

The thought that always crossed my mind, and continues to do so, is this: Shouldn't the people we love already know we love them? Do we really need a holiday to remind them?

Hallmark, Russell Stover and the Sierra Lione diamond society would have you believe differently. They push cards, candy and jewelry on us at overwhelming speed (and prices). The effect of all this "love" making? Single people who feel Alone.

Sure, I get an envious pinch around my heart when I see a couple so obviously in love. But I'm content with being single. I like where I'm at with myself. Being single isn't so bad. Being Alone, on the other hand, is. Having been single - and at times, Alone - for the majority Valentine's Days celebrated in my lifetime, I've devised lots of ways to get through V-Day unscathed. So I present for your reading enjoyment: The single person's guide to surviving Valentine's Day Alone.

1) Buy yourself flowers. Shamelessly. March right into that store, hold your head high and pick out a nice mixed bouquet. Or go to that guy on the end of the exit ramp to Main Street in North Dayton (you know, by the BP station?). $7 will get you half a dozen roses - a steal! No, really, a steal - I'm pretty sure he gets them off the back of someone else's delivery truck, if you know what I mean. But you don't care! You're confident enough to buy yourself flowers and find joy in your fabulous single self.

2) Buy a big box of chocolates. To share. Yes, with others! Resist the temptation to eat the whole box yourself - if you do, you'll just feel fat afterwards. Fat and Alone on Valentine's Day? Not a good combination. If you share like your mother taught you, people will be stopping by your desk/cube/office/counter all day to praise your thoughtfulness (and good taste). Cupcakes also work. Or one of those fab cookie bouquets.

3) Call in sick. Claim a 24-hour virus, or something gross and obscure like scarlet fever. Call early in the morning, because that just-got-out-of-bed, haven't-spoken-to-another-soul-or-had-coffee-yet husky voice is convincing. Then go back to sleep. Stay in your pjs all day. Okay, yes, TECHNICALLY this one could be called "Wallowing in Self Pity". You could also refer to it as "Treating Yourself Well." Going to the spa helps, too.

4) Call up your single friends and have a party. Have dinner. Exchange cherry lollipops and Care Bear valentines and share your war...er...past Valentine's Day stories. Get rip-roaring drunk. Call in to work sick the next day and pretend it is because you had too much sex with your significant other to disguise the hangover that you'll be nursing all day.

5) Hang out with your family, if you can. Call your mom. Or brother. Sister. Aunt. Someone who makes you feel loved every time you talk to them. Feeling love is the best medicine against feeling Alone.

Be well, my fellow singletons, and Happy Valentine's Day. Here's to being single...but not Alone.

I am remiss in my updating duties

I realize that I suck at updating lately. It is just that I have been so busy that all I manage to do when I'm at home is sleep, or watch a little TV then sleep. So here is a quick "Cingle in the City" update:

Short Guy - After four very successful dates, Short Guy and I had a conversation a few weeks ago about our joint hesitancy to be in relationships sometimes. He expressed to me that he is like Brian from the TV show, "What About Brian" - that he will see something that is "wrong" with a girl, focus on it and eventually use it as a reason not to date her. So a few days after that conversation, I received a lame, "It's not you, it's me" email from him about how he thinks that he isn't ready to be in a relationship yet, and that is is not only afraid he will hurt me because he will flake out, but also afraid that I will hurt him because I'm not ready to be in a relationship either. Hello?! I'm on Match.com for goodness sake - I think that indicates my willingness to be in a relationship!!

So I graciously responded that I understood his reasons and would respect them, even though I think the whole situation kind of sucks because I actually really like him. Then I followed up with a drunk dial last weekend asking, "But what's wrong with me?!" ARGH! He actually then emailed me back with a "Nothing is wrong with you, I actually really like you which is why I don't want to be with you, because I know I'll hurt you" email. To which I have not responded, and will not respond to. I've also taken him out of my phone book so that I cannot irresponsibly drunk dial his tiny ass, which I was actually starting to like. Whatever.

Miami Boy - Miami Boy went out of town the weekend after our first date. Then I was out of town the following weekend. Then he was out of town last weekend. This weekend he was in town, but we have been trading voicemails for the last three days. In fact, we have been trading voicemails for the past two weeks. Everytime he asks me out, I have plans and vice-versa. I'm hoping that next week (which isn't busy for me, compared to the last few) we will finally be able to get back together. He smells nice. And is also very hot.

Boston - Boston is a guy that I have recently started talking to. We have spoken on the phone a few times, but he is really shy so it has been hard to get to know him. I think he is better through email, when he has time to think about questions and formulate responses. We'll see.

So that is kind of it for me on the guy front. I have not been keeping up with Match that much because I have been crazy at work and all this other stuff has been going on, but I think I'm going to use today and tomorrow to dig out of the winks and emails that are sitting in my inbox, waiting to receive responses. I'll let you know if there are any candidates.

By the way, it is worth noting that this coming Wednesday is Valentine's Day. This date is important to me for three reasons: 1) Last year, I wrote one of my (in my opinion) best and most favorite posts EVER for Valentine's Day, which I am planning to update for this year. 2) One year ago Wednesday, I underwent a life-changing surgical procedure, also known as a breast reduction, which was the best decision I ever made. My new boobs and I will celebrate this year. I should probably address that in a post this week, too. 3) I am going to see "Breaking Benjamin" with my brother, as a Valentine's Day present to myself. And him, who is too broke to afford tickets.

Also next week I am going to try to have dinner with a friend of mine from college, Julia B., whom I haven't seen since probably Junior year at Miami. She and I ran into each other at a happy hour event on Friday and ended up hanging out all night. She was always a blast in college, but we grew apart because we didn't have the same group of friends, didn't live near each other and all those other lame excuses that you can come up with for growing apart from someone. She is one of those people that I say, "I'm going to call you" and actually mean it. Yay for connecting with old friends!

Speaking of which, my friend Laurel is moving to Cincinnati this summer, which I am very excited about. She was my next door neighbor Freshman year, and we lived together in the same corridor Sophomore year and in the same apartment Junior year. We also grew apart Senior year when I lived with new people and, admittedly, stopped talking to a lot of my "original" friends. I stopped talking to most of them because our EVIL former roommate, "She who shall not be named", was a looney who someone managed to bust up an entire group of friends at will, then graduate with no friends of her own. It is unfortunate that we let such a shallow and meaningless person come between us, but I'm hoping to rectify the situation when Laurel does move down here.

Also, I am going to call my friend Corey from college, who lives in Cincinnati and also lived in our corridor Freshman and Sophomore year. I have been meaning to do it since I moved down here, and since I'm currently in the spirit of connecting with old friends, I am going to try giving her a call to hang out, too.

So maybe next week will be busy after all. :)