Okay, so it is finally time for some details on this little Cingle in the City project that I have been working on. For the past month, I have been using Match.com to connect me with local Cincinnati singles. Now, I have to admit that prior to joining an online dating site myself, I felt like online dating was fine for some people, but not for me. It seemed like a last resort. I am now officially eating those words - online dating is not for "desperate" or "last resort" people. It is a for people who just genuinely want to meet others but don't necessarily have the opportunity to meet them in traditional ways, or who are tired of meeting people in crowded bars and clubs.
I was inspired to join an online dating site when a friend of mine - an attractive, smart, great friend of mine - met her current boyfriend online. She was going on dates 3 or 4 times a week before meeting this particular boy. She convinced me it would be worth a shot.
Here are the past and current contenders, with names changed to protect the innocent:
"Young Boy": Young Boy is a year (or was it two?) younger than me and a student at UC. From his pictures and emails, he seemed really cool. We met for coffee a few weeks ago after exchanging a couple dozen emails, IMs and phone calls. Although he was a cutie, we had no chemistry. We both walked away knowing we wouldn't be seeing eachother again.
"Old Guy": Old Guy is on the older end of the age spectrum that I put down in my match criteria. Okay, so he's 30, which isn't even old. He was cute and funny in his emails and great to talk to on the phone. We met for lunch before Christmas and had a nice lunch... good conversation and not a lot of awkwardness. However, he wanted me to come over to his house like two days after we first met and when I said I wasn't comfortable doing that, he stopped talking to me. Whatever. Not worth it.
"Teacher guy": Teacher guy is someone I'm actually meeting for coffee today. Based on his profile and the emails we have exchanged, he is a 100% match for me in every way possible. Teacher Guy is a teacher (duh) in inner city Cincinnati. He loves the arts, music, books and many other things that I also enjoy. We'll see what happens when I meet him in person, but my hopes are high!
"Short Guy": Short Guy is a little shorter than I usually date, based on his profile (5'5"). Now granted, he is still taller than me in heels. His emails have been great and we are definitely on the same wave length. He has a great heart and a great sense of humor, which really shines through in his emails. Plus, he enjoys cultural things like the symphony and art museums, but he is also a guy's guy. I'm so excited about this one! We are going to try to meet this week.
"The Big Sneeze": The Big Sneeze is someone who'd I'd be interested in if he reciprocates my interest. With Match.com, you can "wink" at someone to show that you are interested and then if they respond in kind, you start exchanging emails, etc. I winked at The Big Sneeze (this code name is based on his username...) a couple of days ago, but I haven't heard back from him. So we'll see.
"Full Of Himself Guy": Full of Himself Guy and I are supposed to have a drink tomorrow, but the Ohio State/Florida game is tomorrow and I don't want to miss any of it so I think I am going to try to reschedule. Full of Himself Guy makes tool-ish comments like "How would you rate my looks on a scale of 1 to 10", "I have a pretty nice apartment, so I wanted to show it off..." and giving me every gory detail of his dates with other girls. Hello?! Dating 101, dude: Do not share the details of your dates with a girl who you are also trying to date. I already screen his calls and get annoyed when I talk to him on the phone, but I think it is worth seeing him in person before I decide that it won't work out.
In addition to these guys, I have met a lot of other men online - doctors, engineers, biomedical researchers, lawyers, etc. - who are well-balanced, successful, nice guys and who have a lot to offer a girl. It has been an interesting experiment and now that I have finally opened myself up to the full process, I'm having a lot of fun with it. I'll keep all of my cyber friends as up-to-date as I can as I enjoy my adventures as a Cingle in the City. But it has taken up an amazing amount of time, and since I'm also busy with other aspects of my life, updating this blog has been a little challenging. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to get back into Blogger, so have patience!
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Nice to see you back online Lauren. I actually met my wife using Matchmaker.com. We were both using our free trial, we exchanged many emails, met for dinner and the rest is history.
ReplyDeleteI think you nailed it right on the head when you said it was a "tool", a tool to meeting new people. I actually think it does a much better job than meeting one in person as you up front recieve a lot of info on how they think, feel, interests, etc...
Good luck.
I just signed Rachel up for match.com, originally as a joke, cause she didn't think I'd do it, but she's kind of into it now :)
ReplyDeleteI have two couple-friends who met on match.com, and my boyfriend's best friend just married a woman he met on match.com.
brave brave brave! i think my biggest fear is the potential embarrassment of people i know seeing it and assuming desperation. but i don't know what else to do.... i can't date guys at work, school or the gym and i don't really go anywhere else. maybe i can take my inspiration from you lauren. keep the updates coming!
ReplyDeletewhoa on the old guy comment...
ReplyDeleteAnd i have to ask...how tall are you?
Glad that it seems to be working out for you. i remember how nervous I was to date after I got divorced but you get over it really quick and it can be really fun...lol
Beside Match.com I would also check out adultfriendfinder.com...responsible for a few of my more wilder dates;)
Anon/Rocket (since I know it was you) - That's awesome! I'm actually really excited. I have gone into the whole process very honestly.
ReplyDeleteDawn - I'm glad you have specific Match.com success stories to share!!! That gives me hope.
Say Rah - Hello?! Such a huge fear. I felt the same way. But profiles can only be accessed (for the most part) by members... so if they are on the site, they must be looking just as hard as you. I thought my friends would thing I was desperate and dorky, but they have been really supportive. The more skeptical ones have been proved wrong when I have three dates a week with different guys. So there.
Brian - You are hilarious. Like I said, 30 really isn't that old. But I still think I'm 23. I am almost 5'2", but I have always liked taller guys. Until my last relationship, I had only dated guys 5'10" and up. :)
Why did that post as Anon, that's wierd. Yep, that was me.
ReplyDeleteOnline dating just seems so fun to me! I have always wanted to try it, but I just never seem to be single. Damn. Keep going out with plenty of guys on all kinds of great dates. Then be sure to come back and tell us more!
ReplyDeletethe only way to date safely online is to see a verified online calling card at www.FingerVerified.com.......
ReplyDeletewell after a blissfull 18 months I am now living with and engaged to a man i met on the internet. After a series of terrible relationships with people i met through friends etc I am a serious advocate of on line dating.
ReplyDelete