- We are both independent, self-sufficient women
- We're used to getting our way - either because we've worked hard to get it, or because people do things for us
- We both pout when we don't get our way
- We're stubborn, and we're proud
- We both have brown hair
Not only was she kind of a bitch, she was the kind of woman who let herself obsess over one man - Ashley - while rejecting, ignoring and insulting the love of a more perfect match. She let herself be caught up in the fantasy of one man, and couldn't see past him to realize that the man she married, Rhett Butler, was actually the perfect match.
And when she finally put aside her foolishness, stubbonness and pride, she realized she loved him with all her heart... but he was already gone.
I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to want one man for the rest of my life only to realize too late that I don't truly love him or want to be with him. I don't want to be so proud that I can't admit when I'm hurt - or worse yet, so proud that I don't accept help when it is given. And I don't want to be so fearful of being hurt that I don't allow myself to fall in love, even when it continues to happen.
I don't want to be Scarlett O'Hara. And despite our similarities, I'm not.
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ReplyDeleteAnother thing Lauren...Scarlett's issue went far past just wanting to get her way and pouting when she didn't. She didn't have the ability to see past that and into someone else's feelings. I don't think you're like that at all. You may pout (I think we all tend to do that) but you're not so selfish that you can't see when what you want might be hurting someone else
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if it was an inability on her part to see into someone else's feelings, or a lack of a desire to see into someone else's feelings. She couldn't really be bothered with it. I think that's an important distinction. And your point is true: I can figure out when I'm hurting someone else, and while I always regret it, sometimes I still ignore it.
ReplyDelete"If you took all the girls I knew when I was single and brought them all together for one night, I know they'd never match my sweet imagination; everything looks worse in black and white" - Paul Simon
ReplyDeleteWhat you're trying to avoid is a common failing; believing your imagination over reality. Consider the multitude of people on American Idol who imagine they can sing ... Oy!
There is wisdom in recognizing that your imagination (wishes) may not be in synch with reality. And, there is discipline in not allowing it to be overy persuasive.
Your observation is good. Well done.
Good luck, I hope you and Scarlet have a falling out ;o)
ReplyDeleteHey! Good self awareness Lauren. Find the best of Scarlett in you and dump the rest. And some lucky man is waiting to meet you, if he hasn't yet.
ReplyDeleteMy advice on that score (for what it's worth) is that if you think there is one mister Right - then give him your best shot (knowing you might lose him). If he isn't ready, then be open to other men who may be just right for you. Love finds a way.
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ReplyDeleteThank you, boys.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm like many women, and probably many guys, when it comes to falling in love. I don't want to be too proud or too afraid to fall in love. So I allow myself to be open to love and open to the possibilities of someone - almost always the WRONG someone, as I have a tendency to fall for unavailable or unobtainable men. Which leads to getting hurt, which makes my defenses go up, and out of self-protection I ignore perfectly good possibilities, or I push people away as Scarlett pushes away Rhett.
I always get to the point where the hurt dulls and the pain is forgotten and I'm ready to feel the thrill of being in love again. I let my guard down, I let people in, I stop fighting it... but at some point, the vicious cycle begins again.
Well at least you've noticed a pattern about yourself (or at least know what pattern you don't want to have). That's more than most people know about themselves. In a sense, you're staying one step ahead of yourself by analyzing how you don't want to be.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Gary: love really does a find a way!
your post made me smile - I think we all have a bit of Scarlett in us. I do too - at least the pouting!
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