I was talking with one of my friends the other day about marriage. She came up with her "Top 10" list of qualities that she wants her husband to have. Then she asked for mine. I kind of struggled with what I'd want in a husband, because although I've though about getting married, it has always been in that abstract kind of way. Like, I can appreciate what it takes to be married and what a struggle it can be, but what a reward it can be as well....and it sounds nice and all, don't get me wrong. But it is SO not what occupies my mind right now.
So I came up with the list that I'd like my ideal boyfriend to have...and since a husband is sort of like a glorified boyfriend, I think I'm probably on the right track. So here goes:
1) Tell me you love me every day. Tell me you're glad that you're married to me and occasionally tell me that it is the best decision you ever made.
2) Never go to bed angry. Fight with me until we make up, but always make up.
3) Have a "date night" where it is just us - even when we have kids.
4) On those "date nights", trade off between things I want to do and things you wants to do. Make plans...but make them as suggestions, not as requests. Be assertive in your date making! And I'll do the same.
5) Make love with me at least once a week. And let's occasionally do the dirty.
6) Leave me alone while I'm puking - but have a glass of water ready when I'm done.
7) Bring me flowers, but not just on our anniversary or my birthday. That is too stereotypical and shows no creativity or real though. Bring me flowers because. Just because.
8) Do the dishes if I cook. Or cook, and I'll do the dishes. And I promise to always sort and start the laundry, if you'll fold.
9) Laugh at my jokes, even when they are lame.
10) Be honest with me about everything. Tell me if I don't look good in those pants, just don't tell me my butt looks huge.
If I had to add anything, it would be that Mr. Laughs-at-my-jokes take me at my word. If I say that I want him to tell me his opinion, or tell me the truth, that is what I want him to do. I don't want a guy who tells me what he thinks I want to hear. I like to date people who are opinionated and aren't shy about telling me what they think or putting me in my place. Otherwise, I'll probably see right through you, roll my eyes, tell you you're full of shit and then ask what you really think.
Thanks for listening, world. If you know Mr. Laughs-at-my-jokes, you can give him my number.
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i know a few gay guys that fit that discription...
ReplyDeleteDo these lists of qualities really ever work for women? That's why there are soo many single women around....Take what ever U can get...
ReplyDeleteI know a couple of gay guys who fit this description also...
ReplyDeleteI like to think of my little list more as a collection of personality descriptors, rather than a recipe for success. I haven't found anyone who has all of those qualities, though I've come close a few times. And when I've dated those people, I haven't measured them against a list of prerequisites (because lets keep in mind, I was only asked to make this list a few weeks ago).
And although I agree that women should be open to dating a bunch of different types of guys - because Lord knows, I certainly have - taking whatever you can get doesn't ensure happiness. If you date someone who doesn't quite fit you, but you're having fun with it, go ahead. But if you're dating someone who doesn't quite fit you and he treats you like crap...well...should really take it cuz that's what you can get?
I have dated a LOT of different guys, and I think my list is indicative of what I know works for me. I think most women have some sort of idea of who they'd ideally like to date, but they don't measure strangers against their list during the initial meeting.
That's a nice, ideal list. If you can find a guy with half or even a third of those on the list, then you're fortunate!
ReplyDeletePlease ! Do not listen to Dem's advice...
ReplyDeleteBut as you already know you'll never find a guy with ALL of those qualities..
But really... You probably dont really want them ALL.. And if you got a guy with all of them.. He would drive you nuts!!!
Men have to be men... And you will love and hate tham about that too!
Terrible lie! Why not?
ReplyDeleteLauren......If the list works for U....power to U sister, and as Nova said, you're fortunate if U can get half on those in your list....
When I say women should take what ever they can get? Includes us "men" too.....We live the age of tabloid magazine age....where such who should fit the perfect men/women is being taken out of proportion........I aint saying taking every dude is good idea, but just being ready or open to be changed........
.......Happy Thanksgiving to U.
ReplyDeleteOooh, yay, I've set off the timeless debate of what men and women want and consider an ideal relationship. Yippee!
ReplyDeleteSigh... I know that I'll never find a guy who has all of those qualities. I'd be happy with a third or half.
If Mr. Perfection exists, he probably would drive me nuts. I need a couple of crazy idiosyncracies thrown in there to keep me on my toes.
And see, even the responses to this posting have been varied and confusing. Women (and men) aren't supposed to be too picky or else they'd miss someone great. But they aren't supposed to be too open, cuz they might date a stalker (which happened to me once....bad situation.... i told you i've dated a lot of of guys...)