Well, the nervous, itchy feeling yesterday was just a fluke...at least, nothing has happened to suggest that the bubbles in my chest were warranted. I did, however, meet up with my friends Elise and Stacey after work for a beer or two or three...so there were bubbles in my glass, if nothing else!
But I'm still not sleeping well at night. I've been tossing and turning at nights, not falling asleep until really, really late. Something is weighing heavily on my psyche, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is.
I suppose it could be a combination of things. 1) The work situation is hairy right now. I found out that it was between me and the girl who got laid off. My boss picked me. My position is actually safer now than it was before, but still. To know that my boss was handed a directive, "Lay off one of these people" is pretty brutal.
2) This upcoming surgery. It is going to be a pretty costly procedure, and I'm not sure how my finances are going to hold up. I know my parents will support me if necessary; but I like to do things myself, take care of myself. I can't depend on them forever.
Not only that, but its a pretty major surgery. Major like I could die. Okay, the risks of me actually dying are small...but still. And a five week recovery period? Ick.
And, though it would be WAY illegal for them to do this, my company could look at the fact that I'm going to be non-billable for 5 weeks and say, "Screw it. She's not worth the cost of paying her sick time and short-term disability. She's of no use to us..."
I have come to a decision, though. 6 months. My goal is to be out of this office by 6 months. I've done a little research into jobs here and there, and was even offered a pretty good position in Cincinnati that I turned down. But I'm about to get really serious, here. I don't want to stay in a company where my financial future - the very financial future of the company - is uncertain.
So if you hear of any public relations agencies looking for an account executive, let me know.
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Love to hear more about this surgery....
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the job lay-off thing. But glad to hear you are much more secure in what you're doing now.
Stephen,
ReplyDeleteYou can read more about my surgery in my 10.24 ("Boobs: Not Everybody Loves 'Em") and 12.21 ("Goodbye, Boobies!") posts. Basically, I'm 5'2" and have a chest that belongs on an pregnant obese woman. Not exactly comfortable or proportional.
Thankfully I wasn't the one to be let go, but the whole situation sucks. Hence the new job search.
Good luck with the surgery...Lauren
ReplyDeleteYeah its expensive, I had a friend who the army did it for her for free while back......yep free in the military......she used to have back pains at nights, last time I saw(2yrs ago in Italy) her she was doing great......
Thanks, Dem. Insurance is covering most of the surgery, thank goodness!
ReplyDeleteMy first visit (I came over from Gary) and I find this. I'll check your earlier posts but meantime my very best wishes to you; both with your health and your job.
ReplyDeleteBummer.