Cowardice

Cow·ard·ice (noun): Ignoble fear in the face of danger or pain. The trait of lacking courage.

What does it mean to be a coward? Each person will have a different definition. To me, a coward is someone who doesn't know how to pick on someone his own size. A coward kicks a puppy. A coward steals a purse from an old lady. A coward calls people names when he knows they can't - or won't - retaliate.

I was forced to consider cowardice in all its forms recently. I'll share with you a story that has my Irish temper aflame - and my family loyalty bursting at the seams:

My youngest brother is a senior in highschool. He is a super good guy: Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't do drugs. It doesn't interest him, and he doesn't buy in to all that peer pressure shit. He has a very strong sense of self and a very strong moral compass.

When one of his friends - I'll call him Jethro because I'm feeling spiteful - turned 18, he received a "magnanimous gesture" gift - his father offered to drive Jethro and 4 or 5 of his friends to Florida for Spring Break. Of course, the father asked Jethro to ask one of his friends who has a condo in Florida, so that they could stay there for free.

So Jethro asked my brother and 4 other friends to go on Spring Break with him. My parents weren't thrilled. Partially because Jethro is an immature ass clown and is really annoying after about, oh, 10 minutes. Partially because Jethro's dad is an irresponsible ass clown, the type of guy who'd buy the kids a case of beer and advise them to have unprotected sex with as many girls as possible while playing with guns.

My brother, with his strong sense of self and strong moral compass, wasn't particularly hyped up on going, either. He knows Jethro is an ass clow, and he doesn't like Jethro's dad. He turned down Jethro's offer; wisely, he blamed it all on our parents. "My mom and dad don't really want me to go on Spring Break," he said. "I'm bummed, but what can you do?" (Editor's Aside: Interestingly enough, all but one of the other kid's parents also said they couldn't go (including the one with the condo - DAMN!). Jethro's dad has a bit of a reputation, you see. As does Jethro.)

My brother and two friends went over to Jethro's house this weekend - the four of them are in a band and they needed to practice. Imagine my brother's surprise when Jethro's dad said, "So I heard you're not going on Spring Break. Sissy." He called my brother a sissy twice more throughout the course of the day, with no provocation and incredibly, no reason. And my brother, sweet 18 year old boy that he is, was so taken aback that the father of a friend, an adult, would call him a sissy - not once, not twice but three times! - that he couldn't even form a response.

Seriously? No, SERIOUSLY?! I mean, how fucked up is that?! And how insulting, how embarassing, to be called a sissy in front of all of your friends, to be defenseless against it and surprised into shocked silence because it comes from an adult. This man's behavior - perhaps even his ability to be a parent - is appalling. (Editor's Aside: And I mean really, who uses the word sissy nowadays anyway?)

My mother and I traded looks. Then we traded insults. And comebacks. And "I'll kick his ass"es. Later, when my brother had gone, we did it again. And again later that evening. And tonight at dinner. My brother doesn't want my mom to say anything. My mom doesn't know how she can't.

Cowardice: The trait of lacking courage. But also, the trait of lacking dignity, morality or any sense of decency. The inability to pick on someone your own size.