Tired

*** Editor's Note: I wrote this on less than 2 hours sleep, so the overall tone of this post is pretty cranky. I considered telling you, my dear dear readers, not to make any comments at all, because they would probably just piss me off. Then I considered that not hearing your feedback would probably just piss me off, too. So consider yourelf forewarned as to the paradoxical nature of this post, as I'm a tempermental and fickle creature these day. ***

I'm just so damn tired.
I'm tired of...
... being so damn tired
... not being able to sleep at night
... not ever being left alone
... not wanting to be left alone
... not being able to do anything
... my body betraying me
... being constantly, overwhelmingly in pain
... the fact that every movement leaves me shaking
... being cranky
... my false cheerfulness
... the cheerfulness of others
... being told that "everything will be fine"
... being told what to do
... healing
... wanting this to be over
... wishing it had never happened
... crying
... spending so much time on the couch
... complaining
... feeling sorry for myself
... having others feel sorry for me
... taking it "one day at a time"
I'm just so damn tired.