Parental Control

I was watching a show on BET the other night called "My Two Cents". Music videos intersperse the discussion of everything from Hollywood to issues relating to gender, race and culture. The contributers are four African American 20-somethings, but they also include comments from people they've stopped on the street.

The four contributors were sitting around talking about Angelina Jolie and the fact that she has adopted baby Zahara from Africa. The question arose: "Do you have a problem with a white woman raising a Black baby?" One of the contributors said flat-out that she absolutely had a problem with it.

"A white person can't teach a Black child about their culture or their roots. The Black culture is very unique, and that can't be replicated in a white home."

Another contributor responded, "But don't you think that a white person might work twice as hard to learn about the Black culture and teach it to their adopted child?"

"I suppose that could be true," said the first contributor. "I just don't think it is right."

Now, I realize that I don't have a lot of room to comment on the Black culture vs. the white culture. Nor do I have a lot of room to judge the contributor's comments. But the way that she was so disdainful of the thought of white parents raising a black baby was surprising to me. A sort of reverse racism that I wasn't expecting.

I guess I think of it like this: If a family is willing to and capable of loving and raising a child - whether it is their natural child or an adopted child - shouldn't they be free to do so?! Does the color of the parent's skin matter?

There are a couple of different tangents that I started thinking about:

Cultural influences
What distinguishes the Black culture from the white culture? If a Black child is well-educated, well-spoken and achieves levels of greatness beyond athletics, they are considered "bougie". If a white child likes hip-hop, speaks ebonics and wears a do-rag, they are considered a "wigger". Both terms are equally insulting, because they suggest that a person's upbringing and interests must be dictated by the color of their skin.

But beyond the outward appearances, what influences do Black children get at home that white children don't get? Is there a deep understanding and appreciation for the struggles of their forefathers, for the unfettered beauty and cruelty of their African homeland? Are family roles and expectations different?

Criteria for parenthood
I firmly believe that is isn't the color of the parent or child's skin that makes them a family. It is the love that they share. For adoptive parents, they child you bring home with you is YOUR CHILD. You don't love it any less than you would a biological child. To me, it shouldn't matter if I am a white woman raising a black child.

Good parents can be measured by the following: Teaching your child to respect everyone, not just their elders; Teaching your child goodness, kindness, altruism, humanity, what it means to be a good person; Teaching your child to love, and how to love in a healthy way; Teaching your child to respect themselves; Teaching your child to embrace their intelect, to make their own way, to worry not about what other people think of them, but what they think of themselves.

So why would this Black contributor to "My Two Cents" care what color skin makes up the family unit. What are white parents missing out on? What can Black parents teach Black children than white parents can't?

I'm not sure, but I'd love for you all to weigh in.